A journey through abandonment, fear, reunion and forgiveness
To be honest, when I read this post a few weeks back - "Don't get even ... heal" - surprisingly it didn't create the same visceral response that it did even just a year ago. My heart didn't race, tears didn't pool. Evil accusations and rejectors didn't hijack my thoughts. A year ago, I was… Continue reading Don’t Get Even … Heal
In this season of thanks, it seems appropriate to share this here. Adoption is perfectly conflicted - beautiful, yet much of it, unbearable to watch. So many very beautiful things I'm thankful for and yet so much I never will be. There's much in my adoption life that I'm thankful for - truly thankful! I'm… Continue reading An Adoptee Gives Thanks for the Beautiful – not the Unbearable
Dear Adoptee, Though different and not as literal as Harriet experienced, I've felt the warm moisture from the breath of dogs at my heels, felt the searing heat of torches at the nape of my neck and listened to the masses of horrific howling hot on my trail. My dogs wear cloaks of secrecy, deception… Continue reading Dear Adoptee, Keep Going …
Little did I know when embarking on the search for my biological family, that I would encounter grief/loss like I've never known before. The initial reunion with my Dad couldn't have gone better even if Hollywood had written the script, but the happy part was far surpassed by the overwhelming feeling of loss. Overwhelming is… Continue reading Digging Graves – Adoptees Bury Lost Years
I just passed the 17-month anniversary mark of meeting my biological dad for the first time and I've become a little reminiscent and introspective, wondering what it might look like now if only I'd known a few more things before I reached out to him. I can tell you with certainty that I had absolutely… Continue reading How to Prepare for Search and Reunion with Biological Family
Standing up for that little girl - finally fighting for her when everyone else retreated, giving her a voice when others demanded silence and gratitude, acknowledging her pain as valid and an absolutely reasonable response to abandonment - standing up for her means finally being true to myself from the inside out. This past year,… Continue reading Fighting through the New Year
The loss for the adoptee is unlike other losses we have come to expect in a lifetime such as death and divorce. Adoption is more pervasive, less socially recognized and more profound. -Brodzinsky and Marshall This time last year, I thought I was going crazy. Literally. I've never been more scared in my life! I… Continue reading Grief and the Adoptee
